The other day, someone called me and they were heartbroken. They were ultimate people pleasers and everything they did was seen by the other person as wrong.
Dan Neuharth PHD, MFT has a few ideas about this. He believes that narcissists win at other people’s expense and in doing so distort the truth and confuse you.
Here are some ways this can happen – A narcissist may:
- Being overly dramatic and playing to your fear of abandonment. A narcissist may tell , look at all I have done for you. Don’t question me
- Everyone agrees with me so if you don’t you will experience FOMA or worse
- Black and white thinking- its my way or the highest. There is no negotiation, no alternative and if you are not with me that must mean your against me
- Burden Proof – a narcissist is always right unless you can prove otherwise . You must submit evidence
- If it’s a success it is because of them if it’s a failure it’s your fault .
- Entitlement – you can’t live without me. Without me you are nothing – I am your best hope
- Ridicule you and other others – to make themselves more important
- Does not follow thru on promises as leaves you in the lurch
- Wants you to clean all the messes up. For example if it’s a coworker they want you to do the project if it’s a success they take all the credit if it’s a failure you get all the blame
If this is happening to you help us just a phone call away.
Here is a super short one line quiz developed by Ohio State University that you can talk or give to someone you fear is a narcissist.