What is Grief

Grief is the natural reaction to losing something  Speaking Grief offers a wonderful website and resource which you can find here.

Types of  Grief

Anticipatory Grief

Expecting loss or change can lead to anticipatory grief. With it, “we end up essentially experiencing the loss before it even happen. When I interviewed man and woman whose spouses, partners etc had a life threatening illness the grieved the loss of their husband . Anticipatory grief allows us to prepare for what erknow is coming. It does not always mean death . for examples part often prepare for when their child goes away to college, or a loved one leaves for military service etc

Delayed Grief

Grief doesn’t always happen immediately: Sometimes people aren’t in a place to process loss, Stone says. That can be because of cognitive or emotional reasons, she notes, such as a young age or trauma. “I often see delayed grief in clients when they hit points of transitions in their life: at their wedding, at graduation, at the birth of their child.

Inhibited Grief

“Inhibited grief is usually classified as grief that someone is consciously attempting to quash,” Ibarra says. This can look like overworking or being excessively busy, Hornstein says. “Sadly, this does not stop the grief, just twists it into a different form that is harder to work through,” she says

Disenfranchised Grief

This type of grief isn’t often recognized by our culture, St. That can be because people don’t think the event is worthy of mourning or due to your circumstances. For example, you may not be fully and openly mourn the loss of a lover in an extramarital affair, the fact tat you and your best friend of 20 years are no longer friends, or a dear friend betrayed you, You mightier sad because your favorite Tv show is off their, a store you coveted closes.

These types of grief are hard and all need to be unpacking. While all types of grief may have different ways to approach them. here are some egeneral guidelines

  1. Be kind to yourself- Allow for time to drive. As the old adage goes Rome was not built in a day and girls need time to grieve.
  2. Memoralize – Do something to create a memory. It can be cathartic and healing to create a memorial for the person or thing you’ve lost, Ibarra says. “This may be a letter you burn or an altar you maintain for years. It allows us to accept the reality of the loss, create a space to feel our feelings, and to build a new life moving —all critical parts of the grieving process,”
  3. Look out for displaced grief. You may burst out at tears at at movie or at seeing flowers etc. or you might get angry.

Seek Help

  1. If you think it would help.
  2. Your day to day life is suffering.
  3. You experienced a prolonged sense of helplessness.
  4. You can’t move on: meaning, you pack away clothes, change a room.
  5. You experience Survivor Guilt: meaning you can’t help thinking it should of been me, not them.


PROLONGED GRIEF (a new category in the DSM 5)

Grief as we have come to know is normal and not pathological. However over the last two years there has been a recognition that many folks experience prolonged grief and mental health practitioners have sought to add this to the DSM 5.

According to the American Psychological Association. “Prolonged grief disorder occurs when a person loses someone close to them, and the grieving person develops an intense yearning or longing for the deceased person, or a preoccupation with them,”

For children, diagnosis can occur within six months of a loss; for adults, it can occur within 12 months, according to the APA. Diagnosis hinges on whether a person’s bereavement extends longer than is expected socially, culturally, or religiously—and whether their symptoms can be explained by another mental disorder. Also not all prolonged grief may be seen as pathological “Grief in and of itself is most definitely not a pathological disorder. We should be careful not to make mainstream the idea of grief as something to necessarily be ‘fixed,’ as it is a natural human response.”

However, when grief is so intense that it disrupts a person’s day-to-day functioning indefinitely, they may need access to a specific type of therapy that focuses on short-term goals and gives them the motivation to move forward—and this is where treatment for prolonged grief disorder comes into play. When a person is not able to return to work, take care of themselves or others, can for example pack up belongings,

Here are some of the signs of Prolonged Grief. The notion is

  • Identity disruption (for example, feeling like part of oneself has died)
  • Marked sense of disbelief about the death
  • Avoidance of reminders that the person is dead
  • Intense emotional pain (for example, anger, bitterness, or sorrow) related to the death
  • Difficulty with reintegration (for example, difficulty engaging with friends, pursuing interests, or planning for the future)
  • Emotional numbness
  • Feeling that life is meaningless
  • Intense loneliness (for example, feeling alone or detached from others)

“People who are enduring grief to this extent have usually exhausted their support system and inner resources, which then renders them further isolated, ashamed, and feeling deeply depressed,” Moffa said. “[Treatment] does not take away grief in and of itself, but, rather, helps someone move forward with the grief.”If you see someone who seems stuck and cannot function in their daily living , please know that help is available. There are several treatment modalities that can help, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR and other trauma therapies.

Concerned About A Loved One?

If you are concerned about a loved one, help is just a call away. Contact me to discuss options to help your loved one learn to thrive again.